When I was fifteen, I woke up every morning to go for a run. In an attempt to avoid the Japenese summer humidity, I would get up around 6 am, lace up my sneakers and head out. As I ran I saw the city of Utsunomiya wake up - people in their neatly pressed uniforms waiting in line at the bus stop, students whipping by on their bikes, and the smell of breakfast - fish, rice, egg - wafting out of the few open windows. While I appreciated all that I was observing and experiencing on a daily basis, I don't think I was fully capable of practicing the Japanese concept of 一期一会, which means "one time, one meeting," at fifteen years old. The idea is that encounters - the combination of time, people, space - will only happen once in a lifetime. It's also a reminder to approach every moment with intention because these moments will never recur. My morning runs were full of these moments - the group of older women exercising that I smiled at, the man opening up his sidewalk tea shop who would give me a nod, and the little kids with their quaint straw hats clinging to their parents' hands on their way to daycare. While my Japanese was minimal, I wish I had stopped and bought a matcha from the teashop man, or at least had the confidence to say "ohayo gozaimasu" to the group of women, who seemed to have noticed the white girl running for 30+ days every morning (people running outside like this wasn't typical). At fifteen, I think I gravitated towards meaningful interactions but hadn't thought too deeply about intentionality. I would, however, get a second chance.
Luckily when I returned to Japan this past summer, I had spent countless hours thinking about what it means to be intentional with my time and my interactions. I had also traveled more, spent time with people who thought differently than myself, and found my knack for being reflexive. I was also the leader of the group of fifteen-year-olds where I had once been a participant, and my perspective was markedly different. This time around I didn't go running in the mornings - too early, bum ankle, and SO humid - but I did make a conscious effort to communicate with everyone our group encountered (even if there was a language barrier) as well as spend time being quiet and observing. The concept of 一期一会 has stuck with me after this summer in Japan, and I've kept it in my consciousness. I've reflected on how I approach relationships and time spent with people. A lot has happened over the past year, and it's become clear to me that I needed to be more thoughtful about who I spent my emotional energy on. I used to feel as though I had to be super friendly with everyone and give each relationship my 100% buy-in from the beginning. My thought process going into this has since shifted. I can't help being friendly, it's who I am, but I'm more thoughtful about how I expend my energy. I have begun to focus on the relationships where both people are invested and show unconditional love and empathy, which has brought a new depth and richness to these friendships. "One time, one meeting" to me has come to mean we have a finite amount time and to cherish each moment, and I want to start living with this in mind. I am grateful my time in Japan helped me work through some tendencies and experiences that weighed heavily on me - and working on 一期一会, I feel a new freedom to step forward into the next chapters of my life.
